Sunday, October 28, 2012

Spray Paint Love

Sometimes I get on a "kick."  My most recent kick: spray painting.  It's addictive.  

Really addictive.

I started with small items like a kids' step stool, picture frames, lamp shade, clip board for my command station, lamp and shade, and clothespins for kids' art display.

Then I got trigger happy dreamed bigger.

I painted the magazine rack, an outdoor wood chair, our dining room table, two bookshelves, and a cabinet.

And now I am done.  For now.  Well... until I notice something else that needs a little color, that is.  

Here is some advice if you want to get trigger happy yourself:

Don't worry about sanding furniture first.  You can use spray primer if you feel you need it, but most things turned out fine with just spray paint - no sanding, no priming.  Only really high use things (like our table, which gets use three times a day) may need sanding, spraying, then a coat of polyurethane.  But, all in all, much easier and quicker than painting furniture (and other things) the old-fashioned way.   

My favorite spray paint colors are "Robin's Egg" from Michael's and "Avocado" from Lowe's.  Michael's seems to have the best selection of colors, although their spray paint is a little more expensive than Lowe's.  I have heard paint stores (like Sherwin Williams) have a good selection, too.  Happy spraying!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Thankful Thursday

1. Making a paperchain with Shep to count down to his birthday
3. Starbucks on a crisp Fall morning
4. Cozying up in a hand-me-down "house coat" from Mom
5. Pumpkins, pumpkins everywhere

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Beach Bums

Last month we were blessed by a week at the beach.  It was so peaceful for the four of us.  Just what we needed to re-connect with each other and unplug from "the real world."    Thank you, Aunt Laine & Uncle Sam!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Thankful Thursday

1. Leaves falling, bright and beautiful
2. The way the October light shines down through our trees
3. Carrot spice muffins, baked with Chef Shep
4. Hope & joy restored to me
5. The best husband in the world

Monday, October 15, 2012

Waking Up

Tonight Shep killed his first fly.  He smashed it with an instrument he was holding and proudly exclaimed, "Look, I killed it!  I saved my whole life!"

We laughed, of course, but now it occurs to me: that is me.  That is you.  That is all of humanity.

I am balancing motherhood and graduate school!  I am such a good wife!  Look at what I cooked today!  Wow, we brought our baby all the way from Africa!  I saved my whole life!

When Billy told Shep he was proud of him for killing the fly for Mama, Shep's response was "What are you gonna give me?"

Isn't that us, too?  God, I'm so good, don't I deserve something for it?  This promotion...a baby...a bigger house...a more romantic spouse...etc., etc.?

It's sad that it takes a loss to shake me out of my spiritual slumber.  To wake me up to my brokenness, my need for God and the fact that I deserve nothing from Him.  And I need nothing BUT HIM.  

"He gives and takes away.  My heart will choose to say, "'Lord, blessed be Your Name.'"

Friday, October 12, 2012

Dear June Baby

During the day, it's children laughing and go, go, go 
and no room for you in my head.

It's not until these times, when the house is dark and quiet, 
that the tears spring hot and the thoughts run wild.

My body has never felt so empty.  Or so much like a failure.

How could this happen?  Where did we go wrong?

All questions with no answers - round and round in circles I go.

I just want it all to be over.  But then again, I don't.  

When the bleeding stops, when the grief subsides, 
you will be gone forever.

Nothing but a memory of our June Baby who never was.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Thankful Thursday

1. Friends and family, loving us through our sadness
2. Your prayers - we feel them
3. God's comfort
4. We lost the baby earlier rather than later
5. Our two living, breathing miracles

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


Today was the first day I felt not-at-all-pregnant.  
All symptoms gone.  Nothing is sore.  Nothing is bigger.  I'm just me again.  And I miss you.

It's not that I feel sad for you, Sweet Baby Who Will Never Feel Pain or Sorrow.  
You are sleeping to the sound of the angel choir by now, snug in Nanny's soft arms. 

It's that I feel sad for those of us who waited for you, prayed for you, 
rejoiced with the news of you, could hardly believe you were real.
It's all the hopes and dreams that will not be.  

Saturday, October 6, 2012


Once I gave birth to life.
Every contraction one step closer to joy overflowing.

Today I give birth to death.
Every contraction confirming my fear: it is finished.

AND YET, "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil for You are with me."

I am painfully aware in this moment, maybe in a first-ever kind of way:
"this world in its present form is passing away."

And the truth is we are ALL passing away, even from the moment of conception.
Some of us just reach our destination a little sooner than others.

And while I mourn this loss with a heap of grief, it will be with a side of joy.
Because it is not really over.

Christ has defeated the grave.
And death. is. not. the. end.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  Amen.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Thankful Thursday

1. Smell of beef tips in crockpot
2. A compliment from a supervisor
3. Love my wedding rings
4. Plaster walls
5. The way Billy enjoys my cooking