I shook the whole way to the pediatrician's office, trying to calm myself, listening to praise songs and praying: "God, please show us the way. I know if this is not mean to be, You will hear our broken hearts and take care of N. It's in your hands."
Billy met Shep & I at the doctor's office and I filled out medical history forms for N - unable to answer most of the background questions because I don't know the answers - no one does. It hit me hard that this will always be the case for him - his family history, genetics, and first 8-9 mths of life are a mystery to us all.
As soon as we sat down with Dr. Walker, she immediately put us at ease, explaining that she would do the best she could to piece together N's medical information to help us make the best possible decision for everyone involved. She was the kindest, most compassionate doctor I have ever met with and she counseled us for over an hour on N's conditions. Upon looking at N's photographs, she said, "This child is going to be somebody - you can tell just by looking at him. Look at that sparkle in his eye!"
And at the end of our consultation, she said she is 80-85% (with no guarantees, of course) sure N will catch up to his peers in time and live a typical, healthy life. We were absolutely shocked. After all our concern over the things we had read (because everything on the internet is scarier than reality), after crying all afternoon over this appointment (just me, not Billy!), we began to feel that everything was going to be O.K.
We left Dr. Walker's office and went to dinner at my favorite restaurant, Fenwick's. I haven't enjoyed dinner so much in a long time & completely gorged myself! We had our server take a picture of us in case this turned out to be a celebration dinner (we had not yet made our decision). I almost didn't post this because of my no make-up, puffy crying face and Shep's scrunched up "I will not cooperate for this picture" face, but that's just reality, right?! At least you look good, Baby :)
After we got Shep to bed, we laid in our bed to talk things over. We talked and researched for a couple of hours before coming to our final decision at 9 p.m: We were ready to welcome N into our family! After nearly 10 days of emotional ups and downs, it was official! We excitedly emailed Erin, the Special Needs Coordinator for AAI and let her know our news. She responded within minutes (she's great like that), congratulating us and letting us know what steps we would take next. It was truly surreal. We finally knew who we had been praying for all these months!