Thursday, June 24, 2010


Today I turn TWENTY-NINE!  [que horror movie music] It is the first birthday that has been a little disturbing for me.  In just one year, I will be out of my twenties.  How did this happen???

I've always said age is nothing but a number, but here I am contemplating the idea of staying at 29 for a few years!

So, what's your "scary" age?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

To Get Our Attention

I'm sick as a dog.  So is Shep.  This is our second time being sick so far this Summer (last time it was Strep), not to mention how many times we were sick over the Winter!  Do you ever wonder if God is trying to get your attention through things like that?  It just occurred to me today that this could be a possibility.  We have been praying through this call to full-time missionwork for about 1 1/2 yrs now - where does God want us & when?  Shouldn't I finish seminary first (2 more years) & shouldn't we complete our adoption process (who knows how long)?  What organization should we go with & what role should we play in it?  It feels like such a HUGE, life-changing decision.

All this to say, I have a hunch God is trying to get our attention & MAYBE it's about this mission thing.  

Just curious: anyone else out there who believes God used/is using something like sickness to get your attention?

"Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'  Then you will defile your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, 'Away with you!'"
Isaiah 30:20-22
I bet this got your attention

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Would you miss the baby phase?

I wonder a lot about how old our adopted child/ren will be when they come home to us.  Some days I have so much fun with Shep, I hope for another toddler.  They are so busy, so funny, so loving, so happy & full of life!  But other days (like when I see my sweet 7-month-old neice, Ailey), I long for a baby.  My eyes water just remembering my sweet baby Shep and I think, "What if I never get to do that again?"  I know there are pros and cons to every age.  And, I must admit, I am enjoying toddlerhood more than I did babyhood.  But... there's just something about a baby... What's your favorite age?

Baby Ailey

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Mom Guilt

Today we took turns letting each other nap & picked up a pizza for dinner.  It had been a busy weekend but, somehow, I still felt like we should be out DOING SOMETHING.  Why can't we just relax?  Isn't that what weekends are about?  Why does our culture push us to GO GO GO all the time?

I have only begun struggling with this as a mom.  I guess there is this added pressure for moms to be the best & make their families the best they can be - "Mom Guilt" as it is often called.  It feels like there is always room for improvement - a project for the house, a new parenting book, finishing my Master's degree, something to rekindle romance in my marriage, a new Bible study to renew my spiritual life, some more plants for the yard, cooking more & more healthy, the list goes on and on and on.  It's exhausting & squashes my joy!

Lord, I know there is no condemnation in You.  So why do I still live that way so much of the time?  Please teach me to Be Still & know that You are God.  Help me to accept some of the flaws in myself, my marriage, my parenting skills, my home, my cooking, my yard, my relationships.  Help me embrace life as it is, not as it could be.  Teach me to strive a little less and enjoy a lot more.  Restore to me the JOY of my salvation.  I miss it.  Amen.

Friday, June 4, 2010

A Good Place

Our family of 3 last summer      

I'm sorry for my negativity as of late & am very happy to report that we are in a good place again with the adoption!  We are just contently (contently or contentedly?) waiting for THE BIG CALL - the one where someone from our agency says, "Hi, it's ___ from AAI calling to talk to you about a little boy/girl/sibling pair."  Wow, I get butterflies just imagining it!  What an amazing surprise it will be to suddenly hear whether we will have a boy, a girl, 1 child or 2, a baby or a toddler or both.  On top of that, they will email us pictures of them!  Better than Christmas.

Father God, thank you for this amazing process.  How incredible you would bring our family together across continents and the vast sea between us.  YOU know just who our family will be made up of.  Please help us to continue to wait patiently and savor every moment we have left as a family of three.  Remind me daily that there are parts of this life I will miss when our family grows again.  Amen.