For several years, we have talked about adopting a child, looked into adopting, been intimidated by adopting, felt it wasn't the right time to adopt, etc. But this nagging feeling (particularly for me) just never went away. We are supposed to adopt. So this winter as we debated whether to begin Operation Baby #2 or Operation Adopt, we chose Operation Adopt. There were multiple factors that went into this decision, but the coolest thing has been my emotional bond with our future child/ren.
One night as I begged God for guidance on this pull to adopt, He put this little "mini-video" (don't know how else to describe it) in my mind. I know it sounds crazy, but basically, I could see a baby being born. I could not clearly make out faces, but I knew the people in the scene had darker skin than mine. The baby was handed to "me" (but I wasn't really me - I was just someone present at the birth) and as I looked into that sweet baby's face, I felt such sorrow. I knew he/she would not be staying with his/her mother. That is where my little "mini-video" ended and real life picked back up. I sat there in our bathtub bawling. This is the first time I have experienced something like that.
Needless to say, I crawled into bed that night and told Billy, "It's time. I can't have another baby right now knowing how many orphans are out there. We have to do this." So we are. My husband is so good to trust my leanings on this, even though adoption is REALLY challenging, in more ways than one. Thank you, Lord, for my sweet little family. Protect our babies, the one sleeping right down the hall and the ones we have yet to meet. Grow us into the parents they need us to be. And guide us on this incredible journey we are embarking on. May it grow us closer together as a family. And, more than anything, may it bring you Glory. Amen.